SLM Drivers License scaled
SLM Drivers License scaled

One of the biggest challenges your parent may face is the impending or actual loss of the ability to drive, or the loss of the driver’s license.

Some elders have enough insight to realize that driving is becoming too stressful or perhaps dangerous and gradually decrease the nature of their driving.

I have seen many who on their own cease to drive on major highways or do not drive after dark or when the weather is inclement. Some decide on their own to give up their car because owning it has become a hassle, what with the costs, the repairs, the parking issues depending on where they live.

I recall the challenge to my late father and the early indication of his cognitive decline when he began getting parking tickets for failing to move the car to the correct side the street when the city introduced alternate side of street parking for street cleaning. As often happened, he correctly moved the car, but failed to recall he did so and then moved it back to the “wrong” side of the street with the subsequent hefty parking fine.

The most challenging scenario that you may be called up to assist your parent is after a visit to a physician, such as a geriatrician for an assessment of cognitive decline where the issue of driving comes up, which is not expected by the patient and by the end of the visit, your parent discovers that his or her driver’s license is either in jeopardy pending a more in-depth driving assessment. Or, of a report that is going to be sent to the licensing authority reporting significant cognitive impairment or dementia which in most jurisdictions results in the cancellation of the driving license. This often leads to outrage, fury or disbelief on your parent’s part as they try to dissuade the doctor, or put the blame on you for taking them to the appointment.

It is not easy to deal with this, but with time and repeated explanations by the doctor as to the necessity of following the law the anger may wear off. Moreover, if you do a good accounting of the cost of keeping the car, the cost of insurance, repairs and parking, it often turns out that the money saved will more than pay for any taxi trips required by the person to do what they were doing with their car. Many local taxi companies happily create accounts with elders that avoids having to pay for each ride and many provide assistance with walking devices for example. It is a challenge, one that occurs often, but will usually wane in time–it cannot be avoided but can also be dealt with in a supportive and compassionate manner.

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Dr. Michael Gordon MD, MSc, FRCPC
Dr. Michael Gordon, MD, MSc, FRCPC and FRCP(Edin) is medical program director of Palliative Care at Toronto's Baycrest Geriatric Health Care System and professor of Medicine at the University of Toronto. He an educator and author and is involved professional and public education. An American by birth, he is a graduate of the University of St. Andrews Medical School in Scotland. His pre-specialty training included Internal Medicine, Obstetrics and Gynecology and Nuclear Medicine. He came into geriatrics in Canada where he settled after much world-wide travelling for his medical training in 1973. He came into geriatrics by a confluence of unpredictable events prior to it being recognized as a medical specialty in 1981 at which time Dr. Gordon received the first certificate in Geriatric Medicine awarded by the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada. His career has included a wide range of clinical activities in eldercare, which for years included responsibilities at Toronto’s Mt. Sinai Hospital. His main commitment has been to the Baycrest Geriatric Centre where he served for many years as its Vice President of Medical Services and Head of the Department of Geriatrics and Internal Medicine. He currently devotes his clinic and administrative and educational activities to Geriatric out-patient care, in-patient palliative care, medical ethics and end-of-life planning, communication and care and writing for the lay and professional press. His books include his first book Old Enough to Feel Better: A Medical Guide for Seniors which went through three editions; An Ounce of Prevention: A medical guide for a healthy and successful retirement; The Encyclopedia of Health and Aging; Parenting your Parents (two Canadian and one American edition); Brooklyn Beginnings: A Geriatrician’s Odyssey; Moments that Matter: Cases in Ethical Eldercare; and most recently Late-Stage Dementia: Promoting Comfort Compassion and Care and now the revised third edition of Parenting your Parents: Straight Talk about Aging in the Family. For more information see drmichaelgordon.com