As you get older, dealing with your siblings is a lot different than it was when you were a child. Personalities change and each of your brothers or sisters may seem to go their separate ways. You may have been close when you were younger but adulthood is different. Depending on your upbringing and personalities, siblings may grow closer or further apart. Family relationships can be complicated but is there a way to become closer as you age?
- You aren’t your childhood self. The same goes for your brothers or sisters. Quite often as we grow older, our younger reputation follows us along. You were the shy one? Your siblings will still expect you to be quiet and most likely will be surprised if you speak up for yourself. Remember that we all grow in different ways and your family members will probably change just as much as you have.
- You will have new relatives. Welcome new members into the family. Maybe you don’t like your sister’s husband or you think your brother’s children are badly behaved. Remember your manners and keep quiet about how you feel. Give advice if asked but remember that advice may come back on you at some point. Remaining neutral is the best way to get along with everyone as you get older.
- Avoid controversial subjects. When there are family get togethers, avoid the high intensity stuff. We all have buttons that our siblings like to push so discussing anything that’s likely to lead to heated words is a no-no. Remember, you no longer live with these other members of your family. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be graceful and put yourself above arguing at the dinner table during the holidays.
Many of us miss the closeness we had with our siblings when we were young but childhood relationships are so much simpler than those of adults. Getting along with your adult siblings means you will have to get to know them as adults. Who knows? Your relationship as adults could be so much better than it was as children! To read more on adult siblings and how one family dealt with unresolved childhood trauma, click here.