Each year, for fifteen years, we hardly moved even one senior (or senior couple) to be near their family. Senior living is in the forefront of our minds. Recently, we’ve helped three couples relocate in just one month so they could be near relatives. Some want to watch their grandchildren grow up, while others want to be a support to an adult child who has become a single parent. Many want to live near adult children who could “look after them” if needed.
One lady contacted us after her move, upset that all her son really wanted was a full-time babysitter. She had left her large country property with animals and gardens as well as many activities and friends (her support system) and was very disappointed.
If you are looking at relocating to be near children or grandchildren and can afford it, close your door and arrange for a short-term, furnished rental near them to see if it will work for you.
We have ten grandchildren and often saw some of them four or five times a week when they were young. Now that they are older they have school, activities, jobs, friends and so we see them less frequently. We don’t take it personally. There are only so many hours in a week!
It is important to plan, if possible, to have activities and other relationships in your life after your move. Can you join a club or church? Can you learn something new through an art, craft, writing or computer class? Could you be a tour guide for a museum or art gallery nearby? Could you volunteer with a seniors’ group or at a local hospital? Perhaps you could join a card group or exercise class or …..
It is important that all parties communicate as to what expectations, commitments, and limitations will be in the relationship. You don’t want it to be a decision you will regret later.
Carefully consider:
How often will you spend time together?
What kind of activities will you do together?
Could your adult child be transferred to another city or retire and decide to spend winters in warmer climates? How would this affect you?
If you lose your driver’s license how will it affect you and everyone else?
How could your move affect other family members who live in different cities? Will they be jealous, insulted or suspicious?
Can you afford to move? (Recently, clients sold their home for $500,000 and could only buy a small condo in a large city for over $700,000)
Will there be help and support with selling your current home and assistance with your move?
Yesterday we packed a lady for a “move home” to the city she had come from. She was 93 and just couldn’t adjust to all the changes.
We have talked with seniors who wished they hadn’t moved and we have talked with people WHO WERE DELIGHTED! Senior living decisions..ugh!
As retired teachers we strongly urge you to “DO YOUR HOMEWORK!”
