Children are often stuck in the middle if one of your adult children gets a divorce. For grandparents, this time can also be a minefield as you are trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Your grandchildren may reach out to you as the one solid person around during a time of change. After a divorce, being a grandparent becomes more complicated as each parent has gone their separate ways. They may enter into other relationships and end up with step-children which makes it even more difficult for grandparents.
What can you do to help your grandchildren at this time?
- Don’t put down the ex while speaking with your grandchildren. Also make sure not to discuss the divorce or any of the parties involved within their earshot.
- Talk to your grandchildren. They may be feeling angry, left out or unloved, particularly by one parent. Tell them their feelings are normal and that the divorce is not about them, it’s only about their parents.
- Find ways to spend time with your grandchildren doing things that will take their minds off the divorce. This is a good time to look for challenges for them. Try mini-putting during the summer or cross country skiing during the winter. Find new things that they haven’t tried before. It will help to show them that they are strong and will make it through this.
- Don’t get in the middle of any agreements or disagreements that their parents may have. Though it may seem difficult, be neutral when dealing with them. Your grandchildren need to know that there is someone they can rely upon when it feels like their world is falling apart.
A divorce is difficult for everyone involved but it’s especially tragic for the children. Be there for them no matter what. When a marriage falls apart the family doesn’t have to. To read more on helping your grandchildren survive a divorce, click here.