Caregivers give more of their time, compassion and energy than most people. They spend their days (and many nights!) looking after someone else, quite often a loved one. They listen to them, take them to appointments, bathe them, give them their medications and a long list of other things too numerous too mention. Yet many caregivers still don’t feel that they are helping enough. They feel they shouldn’t be out enjoying themselves on their time off because their patient can’t do the same. This leads to caregiver burnout and feelings of guilt.
You’ll know when you have caregiver guilt when:
- You have regrets about the past, thinking that you somehow could have changed things.
- You constantly go over small caregiving mistakes you made or things you didn’t do.
- You feel guilty when you have time to enjoy yourself with others.
How can you overcome caregiver guilt?
Accept your negative feelings. Most caregivers don’t like caregiving. They usually do it because it’s a loved one who needs care. It’s normal to feel this way.
Don’t let yourself get exhausted. Caregiving is an extremely tiring and stressful job. It drains you both physically and emotionally. Find some way to take time off. Ask other relatives to takeover for a while or hire a caretaker for the odd day so you can get away and relax.
Don’t hold yourself responsible for everything. Many caregivers of loved ones feel that if they could just try harder, just do a little more, then their loved one would get better. It isn’t your fault. What you are doing is helping your loved one to feel better.
Many of us also feel guilt after a loved one has passed on. It’s normal to have regrets for things we have done and for those we haven’t. Try to put this behind you. Most of us are the best we can be during difficult situations. Forgive yourself for being human and move on. To read more on how to let go of caregiver guilt, click here.
