laughs

We all need a good laugh and what better way to enjoy some laughs than Fun Friday? Kick off your weekend with our list of puns, jokes/one-liners and special aging perks. You’re only as old as you feel and you may as well be laughing as you age! Enjoy!

Puns, Jokes and One-Liners

  • I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
  • When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
  • I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the “Jim” this morning.
  • I thought I saw a river, but I was mistaken. I must be getting see nile.
  • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
  • I used to think I was indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
  • The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
  • If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
  • At my age “Getting Lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I went in there for.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter, if you don’t mind it doesn’t matter.
  • Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles how to read a book.
  • At my age I don’t want to eat any more health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

Perks of Aging

  • Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
  • You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
  • Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them anyway.
  • You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.
  • There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
  • Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the weather man.
  • No one expects you to run ….. anywhere!

 

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