One of the most common questions I get asked at my Evolve seminars is “At this stage of life, what’s the best way to deal with worry?”
To answer that, here is a definition that some readers prone to worry may want to write down and stick on the fridge as a reminder. Know that…
Worry is nothing more than the misuse of your imagination
Some have a tendency to focus on the possible negative outcome of any given situation. However, there also is the possibility of a positive outcome too.
“What is this goes wrong or that goes wrong??” Hey, what if it goes right?
Worry as such, is a developed habit and a total waste of time. To be concerned over an issue or individual is obviously normal. However, worry is the negative side of that equation. Know also that…
Worry is simply pain, paid in advance for something that may never happen
At our stage of life, there is zero to be gained and zero time to waste with imaginary worries. Of course as said, we can be compassionate and show concern for those in need of assurance, for health or other reasons. However, worrying will never change the outcome, moreover it can backfire on the worrier.
The psychological principal of “everything psychological is simultaneously biological” points to the fact that consistent unnecessary worry is likely over time, to have a negative effect on the health of the worrier.
Meanwhile, here are some statistics
40% of our worries concern things that will never happen 30% concern things that have already happened 12% are needless worries about our health or the health of others 10% are miscellaneous worries (“what if my WiFi goes down!!!”) 8% are real concerns (half of which we cannot change and half of which we can act on)
To be really candid, worry is a choice. You may have heard someone say “I’m a born worrier”. To date there has never been an infant born worried about their next meal. So their claim is false. A former acquaintance of mine constantly expressed worrying concerns over every little thing. As we are approximately the same age, I suggested she ask herself this question.
“Of the things you worried most about over all these decades, how many actually came to pass? Don’t you find that most did not and if they did, you coped? Well you must have coped, you are still here”.
Needless to say, that individual is a no longer part of my life. People who overly express worry to others, are doling out conversational negativity and do not deserve to be given the platform they invariably seek.
Put it this way. If you were heading out the door to work or wherever and a garbage truck pulled up outside your door, you would be curious. What would be your reaction if the garbage person then came in with a sack of garbage and dumped it on your kitchen floor! What if then they went out, came back with a second sack and dumped it in your bedroom? At this point you no doubt would be calling 911.
However, how many of us allow others to dump garbage in our mind, with their needless worries, expressions of unnecessary anxiety or other demonstrations of “toxic thinking”?
I refer to these as the BMW people. Not a reference to cars at all, but rather a way to describe people who Bellyache, Moan and Worry on a daily basis.
When I was growing up in Ireland, the common way for worry to be described was as follows.
In life you have 2 things to worry about, are you going to remain healthy or be sick?
If you are healthy, there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, there are 2 things to worry about, are you going to get better or not?
If you get better, you have nothing to worry about.
If you don’t, you have two things to worry about, will you live or demise?
If you live you have nothing to worry about.
If you demise, you have 2 things to worry about, will you go UP or DOWN?
If you go UP, you have nothing to worry about
If you go DOWN, you’ll be shaking hands and meeting up with so many of your old friends that you won’t have time to worry anyway. So there.
You’ve already lived way past the worry stage, so enjoy life, keep evolving, avoid BMW people and remember, worry is only fake news anyway.
Viva la Evolucion!