Often when a family member is unable to return home after a hospital stay because they need to go to a retirement residence or nursing home the family really doesn’t know what to say or do.
The parent usually states very firmly that they WANT to go home, they are able to go home, a spouse is able to look after them…yet reality is a doctor has made the decision because it was necessary.
Acknowledge that their desire is to “Go Home.” Tell them that it is also difficult on you and other family members and you would like it also if they could return home. Reiterate that a doctor has made the decision and they are moving to get the care, treatment and needed support to try and improve their health. Give them HOPE that as they improve they may be able to return home.
Remember no one wants to go to a nursing home to wait to die. Everyone needs something to look forward to.
I personally hate taking all hope away from people and have had several senior clients who did leave long term care facilities when their health improved greatly. I call them my “Miracles” and tell others about them to give some HOPE. One lady was confined to a wheelchair after a massive stroke and she so improved she could walk in high heels and no longer needed a wheelchair or even a walker within a year.
Encourage them to do what they need to get stronger. Eat the necessary foods, drink the needed fluids, take the prescribed medications or supplements, do the physio that the professionals suggest.
After I had a major car accident I was in a lot of pain and was only able to exercise in warm water. My desire was to get better and I made sure I got to the pool to get the help I needed.
When someone has been confined to bed for a few days or longer they lose a lot of strength especially in their legs. On the behalf of your parent ask the doctor what they can do to begin to regain the strength that is needed to walk without the possibility of a fall. At times I personally massage my own legs when they feel weak to help relieve pain and stimulate circulation.
So remember to always give them some HOPE that they can improve and encourage them to do what is necessary to improve.
If having this conversation is to hard for you or you just can’t find the right words, Call us and we can help your loved one with hope and confidence this will be the right decision for them.
